I've been trying to work out a balance between accepting
someone for who they are - especially when part of who they are affects me so
negatively! How do I find that balance or even just pick up a scrap of
love and happiness when there is such a constant struggle? So far, I have completely lost it.
I have days when I feel utterly destroyed, mangled
by the constant criticism, by the devalued position I stand in, the royal
bullsh*t that's flows constantly.
The demoralization that has taken every
last bit of joy and smashed it to smithereens.
I lay in bed for days, with my pajamas wrapped
around me. Laying in the darkness,
wondering what the F*CK am I doing here? Why does this never, ever
change?! Communication is reduced to kids, weather and sports – and of the
last two, I don’t give a flying pink pig about.
For a while, I was set for departure, ready to get
the hell out. But as I thought more on that, looked at that road as far
out as I could, I realized that my heart begs to love, begs to be loved and is
yet broken at the pain.
So the question I ask myself every.single.damn.day
is this:
Does love really conquer all?
